Smoking & Sexuality
Posted by Diva on March 10th, 2010 | No Comments »
I myself have never been a smoker. Aside from those days back in college when I’d partake in the odd joint, cigarettes have so far never managed to seduce me. I’m not particularly anti smoking; I’ve had boyfriends in the past who smoked heavily and it didn’t bother me. I was just so proud of myself for making it through secondary school without bowing to peer pressure that I thought it would be silly to start now, and I’d heard that it can give you premature wrinkles so I steered clear.
However, I never managed to disassociate smoking with being cool; all of the coolest girls in school were puffing away from the age of 13, and I would gaze at them in awe admiring their bravado for breaking the rules. Even in my 20s, watching my ex smoke always turned me on a bit, and I actually liked the smell of him afterwards. Ashtrays are nasty, but a man with cigarette smoke is sexy.
I know for a fact that some escorts lie on their profiles; they might knock a few years off their age, a few inches off their waist or add a cup size to their bust. Similarly, many are advertised as non smokers then get rumbled by clients when they turn up smelling of fags. But what about the clients who do like smokers?
Photo by Tayler Aleks
I’ve recently heard from ‘Dave’, one of a group of men who have a fetish for smokers. He isn’t a smoker himself, but he finds seeing a gorgeous girl light up “erotic, glamourous, sensual, alluring, confident, seductive, sophisticated and more than a touch of the slutty bad girl about it”. I can completely understand this; smoking can be very sexy. Have you ever tried doing a blow back? It might just make you come in your knickers.
For men like Dave, it’s frustrating for escorts to lie on their profiles. They actually want to meet girls who do smoke, and they want to see her do it. You’ll find a fetish for almost everything out there, and I hadn’t really considered this one before; but now I think about it, it might be more popular than I realised!
x Diva x
Being Tactful
Posted by Diva on March 5th, 2010 | No Comments »
Successful escorts are supposed to be the perfect companions; men don;t fork out hundreds for a woman to be rude or stand off-ish. If they can tell that you’re not enjoying the experience, it’s unlikely that they will be able to enjoy it either. Politeness and general good manners will get you far, but one quality it’s very helpful to have is the ability to be tactful.
Sex can be a messy and at times embarrassing business. Over time, you are likely to encounter things like excessive sweating, funny noises and ridiculous sex faces; some things you can laugh about together but other things require tact. One of the most important things is personal hygiene (on both parts), and any man who uses escorts regularly will appreciate this and shower before she arrives. However if you find that he is not as fresh as you’d like, try not to screw your face up and go “ewww”. This will probably offend and embarrassing, and completely ruin the mood. Instead, try an approach like telling him you love to see a man all wet and naked, suggesting that he lets you watch him take a shower. There are plenty of variations, but suggesting a shower is much more polite and tactful than telling him he smells bad.
Another common one is during oral sex; you might have noticed that after a man goes down on you he can get quite a wet face (assuming you’re enjoying it). I’ve spotted a few guys doing the trick of kissing the inside of your thighs afterwards to wipe their mouths, using you as a human napkin. I like this! It’s much more discreet than coming up for air and wiping their face with the sheets or their hand. For women, you may often find that you get a hair or two in your mouth when performing oral sex. Don’t make a big deal of this; discreetly continue pleasuring him with one hand while you clear your mouth out and then continue as if nothing happened.
Use your own judgement in most situations, but bear in mind that your client is paying for your company and wants to enjoy himself! I’m sure you’ll do great.
x Diva x
Condoms
Posted by Diva on March 2nd, 2010 | No Comments »
It’s amazing how many people manage to successfully convince themselves that they can safely have sex without using condoms. One girl said to me that her and her boyfriend use the ‘withdrawal method’, but don’t use any other contraception; for those of you who don’t know, the withdrawal method involves having unprotected sex, and the man pulls out before he ejaculates and shoots his load outside the body. There are several flaws in this plan: first of all, most men have ‘pre come’ which leaks out when he is aroused, long before he ejaculates. This could contain sperm, and could get you pregnant. Yes, the chances are greatly reduced, but it only takes one little swimmer! Also, you can still catch STIs without a man coming inside you – the intercourse itself is enough. If a couple are faithful and have both been tested and found clean, this isn’t so bad. But for escorts and sex workers, I really wouldn’t recommend this!
Personally, I hate using condoms. It’s such a relief that now I’m married I never have to think about them. I’ll stay on the pill until we’re ready to have kids, and providing he doesn’t stray it should be perfectly safe. Believe me, I know that it feels SO much better riding bareback – no condom, skin on skin. The sensation is better for both of you, and there’s no awkward moment when you need to stop to fumble about with the wrapper. And God knows that they don’t taste good!
That said, they’re still so important if you’re having casual sex. A client may even offer you extra money to do it without, but what price can you put on catching HIV or AIDs? Is an extra £100 enough compensation for being left infertile? It’s easy to get caught in the moment and let passion take over, but keep your head screwed on.
Sorry to sound like your mum!
x Diva x
Taking the Rough with the Smooth
Posted by Diva on March 1st, 2010 | No Comments »
I’ve been blogging for a few months now, and I was saying to my husband last week how surprised I am that all my feedback’s been so nice. Obviously not everyone agrees with escorting and the sex industry, and having worked in it for several years I know how nasty people can be. But so far, every email I’d had was positive, and all the spam comments have been random links like gambling sites. Nothing against me.
This weekend I had my first abusive comment from ‘Nick’, letting me know that I’m a “fucking c**t whore”. To his credit, that’s not entirely inaccurate: I do a lot of fucking, I have a c**t (if that’s what you want to call it), and I did work as a whore for several years. Fair enough. But if escorting offends you so much that you feel the need to be rude, why are you spending time on escort websites? My URL reads ‘Escort Life’, and my tag line is ‘The Sex Professional’. It’s very unlikely that you would stumble upon this blog by accident.
To anyone out there who is a sex worker, there will always be people who feel the need to be vocal about their hate for the sex industry. If it’s just words, ignore them and forget about it. Block them from your computer or phone. If it ever gets threatening or physical, report it to the police. Your safety is the most important thing, always put that first.
x Diva x
That Moment
Posted by Diva on February 25th, 2010 | No Comments »
I’d say that the climax is most people’s favourite part of sex. The big ‘O’, the release. But I have another part that’s my favourite: that moment when a man first enters you (provided that you’re nice and wet). I’ve been sexually active for quite a few years now, and it still makes me gasp a little. It’s even better if you’ve had a long build up or a tease so that you’re practically begging for it.
For me, it doesn’t matter what position you’re in when he first puts it in. Even if you’re completely in control of the situation, even dominating, you can’t help but give yourself over to that feeling, that moment. I suppose it helps that my husband’s rather well endowed so he fills me right up – it’s like being a virgin all over again every time!
When I was working as an escort, I wasn’t always attracted to my clients. They came in all different shapes and sizes, but I could always appreciate that moment along with them. Judging by the way most men’s eyes roll back in their head, I’d say it’s pretty amazing for them too!
x Diva x
Grrrrrrrr!
Posted by Diva on February 22nd, 2010 | No Comments »
I’m very annoyed with whoever is automatically spamming my site. I moderate ALL comments, so you’ll just get deleted without ever being published. And thanks to being inundated with your crap, I’ve now accidentally deleted some lovely comments from genuine readers who are contributing to my blog.
Just please bugger off, you’re doing yourself no favours!
DIVA
Staying in Control
Posted by Diva on February 22nd, 2010 | No Comments »
Not all sex workers are naturally dominant. Of course there are plenty who specialise in this area, but I’ve heard of many escorts who just lie back and think of England when they’re with a client. From personal experience, I would say that a large proportion of men like women to be assertive in bed, even if you’re not introducing any BDSM. A girl who knows what she wants is very sexy, so it’s great to show this sexually.
If you’re not quite sure how to go about this, there are plenty of ways to get started. Appointments usually last a minimum of an hour, so you have plenty of time to tease before doing the deed. Start by flashing a bit of flesh to get their imagination going; perhaps do a Sharon Stone by uncrossing your legs, maybe lean forward to expose some cleavage. Be the one to initiate kissing or touching, stopping when they start to get too carried away. Give them just enough to keep them going, but leave them begging for more.
Once you get in bed, climb on top and straddle them to show your client who’s boss; pin their arms by their side or above their head while you work some magic with your lips. I like to kiss and lick slowly down their body, but just when they think you’re going in for the kill, tease a bit longer by concentrating inside their thighs where it’s still sensitive. By the time you take them into your mouth or inside you, they’ll be so relieved and grateful that your client will feel forever indebted to you!
I may have been called a cock tease in my time, but they all worshipped me by the time I left!
x Diva x
Double Life
Posted by Diva on February 16th, 2010 | No Comments »
Living in London can certainly keep you busy. Although some do it loud and proud, many sex workers keep their job discreet so they end up living a kind of secret double life. It can become difficult to juggle the two, always having to come up with an alibi for when you’re out on a booking.
I dealt with this by confiding in my closest friends, those who I trusted and knew wouldn’t judge me. The most important are those who you live with (if you have house mates); they will be the ones who ask where you’re going, who notice you creep in during the dead of night. It will be difficult to maintain a lie and could make you feel awful, so think carefully about who you shack up with. A lot of escorts I know live with each other so there are no questions asked. Be careful if you do incalls though – if there are any more than two of you in a flat or house, it could be considered a brothel and you’d run into big problems with the law. You don’t want to upset the neighbours!
Unless your parents are extremely open minded or worked in the sex industry themselves, it’s not a good idea to confide in them. Ultimately you know them best and it’s down to your judgement, but they will be overprotective and worry about you – personally I never thought it was worth it.
Boyfriends are another thing… don’t tell him unless you absolutely trust that he’ll keep your secret. You should also be prepared for him to reject you – many people can’t deal with this kind of information. If it’s someone you want to settle down with or move in with, you will need to tell the truth and accept the consequences. They might ask you to stop, they might be ok with it. Again, this one is your call!
A double life can be hard, but you can’t deny it’s exciting…
x Diva x
Sex Toys
Posted by Diva on February 15th, 2010 | No Comments »
If you are a sex worker who visits clients, it’s a good idea to have at least a basic knowledge of what sex toys are on the market. Some may request that you bring them to appointments, either to use on you or them. You should practise with them by yourself before using them with a client – it’s the kind of homework that you won’t mind doing!
The most common sex toy is a dildo or vibrator; these come in all shapes and sizes, colours and textures. Most are shaped like a penis, sometimes curving up slightly at the end so they can hit your G spot (on the front wall of your vagina). It’s not uncommon for men to feel threatened or jealous if your vibrator is bigger than their own manhood; it may sound silly, but men are often insecure about the size of their penis – it’s how they measure their worth sometimes! If you’re not sure what they want, take a selection of sizes and start off with the smallest.
If you’re taking sex toys for him, make sure they’re used as intended; anal dildos always have extra material at the base to prevent it getting lost inside, unlike those intended for vaginal use.
One of the most important things to remember is to clean your sex toys thoroughly; it’s not advisable to share them, but there are plenty of products on the market to keep your props hygienic. Never put anything inside your vagina after it has been in his or your anus – this can cause infection. If you’re planning on swapping holes, use a condom on the toy and change it when you swap.
Be safe, go steady!
x Diva x
Masturbation
Posted by Diva on February 4th, 2010 | No Comments »
I was 13 when I had my orgasm. In the year leading up to that, I’d noticed that it felt nice to touch myself down below; wearing tight jeans, I’d lean forward so that the seam rubbed against my clitoris, but at the time I didn’t really know what a clit was! I remember exactly where I was when I first climaxed. My parents had left me home alone, and I was watching a video taped off the TV. After the film finished, it flickered into another film that I didn’t recognise – something French. I watched wide eyed as a middle aged married man carried a young lady to a window, and proceeded to have full sex with her. I later found out that film was Last Tango in Paris, and that scene was rewound many a time for my pleasure. As I watched it a second time, I drew all the curtains and unbuttoned my jeans. I rubbed where it felt nice, then got impatient and pulled my jeans and knickers down to my ankles. Rewinding the scene once again, I felt myself get moist and used this to rub myself faster. My first orgasm was quite short because I was scared to carry on, but I remember feeling my whole body get hot and tremble violently.
Since then, my masturbation patterns have varied greatly. Sometimes I’ll do it several times a day, sometimes not for a week. My husband enjoys watching me as I do him; sometimes we watch porn together and watch each other get off.
Masturbation should never be something you’re ashamed of. Everyone starts at different ages, and unless you do it so much that it interferes with your work or social life, it’s not a problem. Men have a limit on how many times they can ejaculate in a day (it varies), so don’t get irritated if they’re worn out and can’t manage any more sex. That’s perfectly normal; in fact, most men come once then want to go to sleep!
Women can actually increase their libido by pleasuring themselves often; use the skills you’ve learned to teach your man how you like it. It’s a beautiful thing!
x Diva x
