Weekends
Posted by Diva on February 5th, 2010 | No Comments »
This may be stating the obvious, but for most sex workers the weekend is the busiest time. Often clients are off work at this time and like to give themselves a little treat.
This can be very inconvenient for your social life; chances are that weekends are when your friends go out together, but you may find that you have to miss out because you’re working. When I was working as an escort, I used to always take Sundays and Mondays off, regardless of which other days I was working. This made me feel like my life had some structure, and I could have a lazy day with my boyfriend while he was off work on a Sunday. This may have meant sacrificing one good day’s pay, but I could work all on Friday and Saturday night to bring in the bacon (no pun intended).
You need to decide what your priorities are; perhaps you could organise your schedule to work every other weekend, or come to some agreement with your agency. Just remember to give yourself a little time otherwise you may end up resenting your job and not appreciating the hard earned cash as much as you could!
x Diva x
Compassionate Leave
Posted by Diva on February 2nd, 2010 | No Comments »
Being a sex worker usually means you get the final say in when you work. Some escort agencies can be pushy about you coming in, but unless you take the piss by only waltzing in once a fortnight, you get to decide which days or nights suit you (if you want complete control then working independently is the best bet).
Although you can feel obliged to work if you’ve recently had time off, there’s no point if you’re in a bad frame of mind. Just like any other career, compassionate leave may be necessary if you receive some bad news or go through a traumatic experience. Even if you are physically well, you won’t be able to do your job properly if your mind is somewhere else and you’re feeling emotionally fragile.
I once tried to meet a client when I’d had some bad news; I thought I could put on a front and act my way through it, but I was too delicate and the appointment was a disaster. Clients hire escorts to make themselves feel good, so don’t go if you’re likely to make them feel bad!
If you are with a strict escort agency, they may not sound very sympathetic to you asking for ‘compassionate leave’. But stand your ground; working regardless could result on you losing a potentially regular client.
x Diva x
Secret Diary…
Posted by Diva on February 1st, 2010 | No Comments »
Just a quick bit of advice to girls who are considering becoming escorts; watching ‘Secret Diary of a Call Girl’ isn’t necessarily a true representation of the sex industry. Some if it is very accurate; if you are a high class escort living in London, you may well experience situations similar to this. However, if you join a budget agency it will be a very different picture. Half of your night may be spent in a run down waiting room, and not all of the clients are as polite and gentlemanly as Belle’s clients.
I’m a big fan of the ITV series, but I just don’t want girls to be mislead and think that they can easily achieve this lifestyle just by being pretty. It takes a lot of hard work and determination, and you have to know exactly what you want!
x Diva x
Love Thy Neighbour
Posted by Diva on January 28th, 2010 | No Comments »
One of the problems that I thought I’d left behind at secondary school was bitching and bullying. I’ve never been the bitchy type; I didn’t see the point of spreading rumours and making enemies. Those who used to call me a “whore” didn’t know at the time that they weren’t far off the mark where my future was concerned, but I was a good girl back then!
I had a couple of hassle free years after that when people grew up a bit and I moved to London. Here I could hang out with any age group, any gender. The only bitches now were my group of gay friends, but that was very superficial and a sign of their affection for each other!
The next time I had to deal with it was when I joined my first escort agency. It was fairly low budget and there were around 30 girls working for them; I was very obviously the ‘new girl’, but not for long because the turnover was high. But once again I had to encounter jealous, bitchy behaviour and exclusion. The worst cases were the ‘old timers’ who had been there for years, and groups of girls from the same place. For example, in that agency there were always between 5 and 10 Eastern European girls who would gang up and spread rumours about the rest of us. It’s quite sad, and unfortunately there’s not a lot you can do about it. Of course they want to get rid of competition so they get more bookings, but competition will always be there because it’s such a big industry.
If a client rings up for a slim brunette and you’re a busty blonde, no amount of sabotage will secure the booking for you. We’d often have to spend evenings in the waiting room at the agency, so why not make it pleasant and get along?
If you’re working at an agency like this, don’t be the bully. People will only become ‘friends’ with you because they’re scared of you. If you’re being bullied, just ignore them and rise above it. If it starts getting too intense tell the agency, but sadly there isn’t much they can do. As long as you’re reliable and enthusiastic, the agency will continue to give you preference for bookings – they don’t listen to the rumours.
Hopefully you don’t have to go through that, but just remember – you survived secondary school!
x Diva x
Getting in the Moment
Posted by Diva on January 8th, 2010 | No Comments »
From years working in the sex industry, I know what it can be like to be with someone you’re not in the slightest bit attracted to. I know some girls who just lie there with their eyes shut waiting for it to be over, but that sounds to me like it would be pretty unpleasant for both parties involved. If you hate it that much, don’t be an escort!
Obviously, you don’t always get to pick and choose your clients. You have the right to walk out at any point if you feel uncomfortable with a client, but if you drop every booking because they’re not that good looking, you won’t get very far! Escort agencies certainly don’t have much patience with this, and you’ll end up wasting a lot of your own time too.
What I always did when meeting a man was look for qualities that I liked and focused on them. Does he have nice eyes? A broad back? A charming smile? There’s usually a redeeming feature somewhere, even if it’s not immediately obvious. Concentrate on that and you’ll find yourself warming to him. Tell him even – a compliment will boost his ego and make him a better lover! If you’ve looked good and hard but still can’t see past his unfortunate exterior, focus on his personality. Is he gentlemanly? Witty? Intelligent? Powerful? Any one of these things can be a strong aphrodisiac.
Most of the time, I was able to see something in my client that made me like him, and that made the whole experience more pleasant for both of us. But if that really hasn’t worked for you and you find yourself recoiling, feel free to close your eyes. But instead of praying for it to be over, imagine it’s George Clooney! After all, it is a girl’s prerogative to fantasize…
x Diva x
The Right Places
Posted by Diva on December 14th, 2009 | No Comments »
As an escort, I was always aspiring to earn more money and to be considered a ‘high class escort’. Some say that if you start out at the bottom end (with budget escort agencies), it’s impossible to break the cycle and work your way up. Others say that you need experience, and like any other industry you have to start at the bottom.
There’s probably some truth in both of these statements; not all high class escorts come from the same background. I worked for a few different escort agencies before going independent, and I did manage to charge a lot more than I had earned through agencies. But you need to decide what your goals are, and work out a plan of how to reach them. If you’re determined enough, you’ll get there.
One of the first things you need to remember is to be seen in the right places. If you’re aspiring to be considered a high class working girl, there’s no point hanging around on street corners in Brixton to get extra business. You have to look and dress the part, and be seen in the kind of places you want to associate yourself with. Think Knightsbridge and Mayfair, at designer stores, casinos and expensive wine bars. If you’re looking hot enough, you won’t need to spend your hard earned cash; the men will come to you.
To pull this off, you need to believe you can. It is well worth investing in a few key designer pieces; Primark and PVC won’t cut it in these joints. Just tell yourself that you are worth the hundreds or thousands you aspire to make, and carry yourself that way. If you believe it, everyone else will too!
x Diva x
Moral Issues
Posted by Diva on December 11th, 2009 | No Comments »
Many people have moral or ethical issues with sex work. The sad thing is, because so many bad things happen within the industry such as violence, rape and trafficking, all of the willing, happy sex workers are lumped into the same category of ‘evil’.
One of the saddest things I’ve come across is when women working as escorts have a problem with what they do morally, but feel like they have no other choice. Often, women who have been brought up in traditional or religious backgrounds feel that what they are doing is inherently wrong and will never be comfortable with it. Others are told it’s dirty or wicked. If you are not comfortable with sex work, you should not be doing it. I know that it can be difficult to break the habit once you start, and it becomes a lifestyle for you. If you’re being forced to sell sex against your will, do whatever you can to get out. Ask for police protection, or go to a woman’s support group such as http://www.womenssupportproject.co.uk/ for advice. I’ve never been in a horrible situation, so I’m afraid I’m not the best person to advise you.
There are other ways to make money, even if they don’t seem as quick and easy. In the long run, it’s worth taking home a bit less money for your own peace of mind. If you have moral issues with sex work, they’re unlikely to ever go away.
Good luck,
x Diva x
Detachment
Posted by Diva on December 10th, 2009 | No Comments »
It can be all too easy to become attached to a regular client. You see him every week, he pays you compliments, buys you gifts and treats you like a lady. It’s almost like having a boyfriend!
However nice your clients may be, it’s important to stay emotionally detached from them. Unless you truly think they’re the one and you’re willing to give up your whole way of life for them, it can become awkward, dangerous and difficult. If you open up to a client and give him preferential treatment, he could start falling for you. Take it from me – this is not a romantic scenario. He will want you all to himself, and begin to get jealous of you seeing your other clients.
If you work with an escort agency, never give out your personal details. That includes your phone number, email and address (if you only do outcalls). If you’re an independent escort, have a separate phone and email address for business. That way, if you do get any trouble with a stalker client you have a way to cut him off without disrupting your life too much.
Just remember, your dates with clients are not the same thing as dates when you’re looking for love. Many sex workers have a completely different persona for when they’re working; it’s like a performance. I think this is a great way to stay detached from clients.
Let me know what works for you!
x Diva x
Advertising
Posted by Diva on November 23rd, 2009 | No Comments »
Sex Workers need to advertise the same as anything else for sale. It’s unlikely that a house will sell if there’s no estate agent promoting the fact and no board out the front. Now I’m not saying that you have to walk around waving a placard advertising your services, but you do need to put yourself out there in the right places to find yourself business.
The cheapest and easiest way to go about this is to join an escort agency. I’ve mentioned before the importance of having good photos and this applies to any advertising option. Most escort agencies will put your profile on their website free of charge, then take a cut of any bookings they get you. Avoid agencies that ask for payment upfront as well as a cut of your takings.
If you don’t want to share your hard earned cash with an escort agency, working independently is the best option for you. However, be prepared to spend large amounts on advertising. There are plenty of online directories that specialise in sex workers such as escorts, strippers, dommes etc. There are networking sites where you can advertise for free, but these are heavily moderated so your posts may be removed.
It can be a good idea to set up a fan page on Facebook or Myspace and invite any clients to join and see your latest updates. Just make sure you have your privacy and security settings up to date to protect the anonymity of you and your clients.
There are still several printed publications selling advertising space too. It can cost from hundreds to thousands of pounds depending on the size of the advert and how renowned the publication is. Try to weigh up how much it’s worth investing by how much business you’re likely to gain from advertising there.
x Diva x
Give Yourself A Break
Posted by Diva on November 20th, 2009 | No Comments »
Just a quick word of advice today. However much you enjoy being a sex worker or however much you need the money, give yourself a break sometimes. Your body needs to rest, and will suffer physically and emotionally if you’re up all night every night. You need at least a day off to recuperate, catch up with your friends and do your chores.
Another problem is that you might grow to resent what you do if you’re pushing yourself to hard; don’t let any escort agency bully you into working every night, you’re entitled to your free time!
That’s all for now,
x Diva x